In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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