Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
