Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
