I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
