But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize