I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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