where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
