TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
