please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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