so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
