Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
