she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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