How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i've created a new STD.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
