I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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