North Korea, Best Korea!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
