Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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