I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
