drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
