I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
