I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
