I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There r osticjed everywhere
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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