I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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