my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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