My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
