Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame

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(602): View more from Arizona

just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?

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(419): View more from Ohio

You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.

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(903): View more from Texas

She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".

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(720): View more from Colorado

I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings

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