He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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