dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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