it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
