do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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