On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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