Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Say something about gay babies.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
