...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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