So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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