i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
where am i from again
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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