She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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