i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
