mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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