So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's blow job season.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
