I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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