I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize