When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
