I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
