I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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