Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize