did you get engaged???
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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