i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
