they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
