I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
never play flip cup with pint glasses
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
