I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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