I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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