He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
