does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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