dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
