After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
