Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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