I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
