Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you didnt know i had herpes?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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