yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
