Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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