that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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