I think scott just propositioned me for sex
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
