what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
