I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
