What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just gargled with NyQuil
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize