I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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