I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We need a shit load of segways right now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
