curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
