At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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