Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
