Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
porn star boner night. come get it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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