what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
