Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
