Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
