thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
