Quick, to the slutcave!
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
