Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
