Apparently you make a good broom.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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