I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
That accounts for only three of the penises
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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