Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
