I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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