go do what you do best...puke behind churches
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i've created a new STD.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
