I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm just crazy horny about you
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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