First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
