you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
