Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I look better un-naked...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
