i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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